Round 3 Day 5

We are home!  Seriously, there is no better feeling than this.  When the doctor came in today Steve was sitting in a chair and I looked at him and saw a big lump behind his ear.  OH MAN!  I asked the doctor to look at it when he was right there and sure enough, he thought that we needed to get a biopsy of it before we left today.  Steve was kind of mad at me for mentioning it.  That meant we may not get out of there as soon as we could have. We couldn't get out of there soon enough as it was.  It didn't take to long for the people from pathology to come and start poking on him.  They are pretty sure that it is just a lymph node that is big but we won't know for sure until Monday. Until then, we are going to enjoy our weekend.  Hopefully we can control the nausea better this week.  Steve is planning to go back to work next week so we will see if that happens.  We have one more count down going on and that is for his interferon shots.  3 more then we will really be done.  We were talking on the way home today about how we made the better choice of 3 months verses 1 year of interferon shots.  I don't think he would have lasted a whole year with these shots.  They are brutal.  Now it's time to take our life back!!!

Round 3 Day 4

Today has been a great day!  Mostly because the count down is on.  We officially finished his last round of chemo today.  It's been like a party here today with so many visitors.  I loved it! I think it really helped lift Steve's spirits as well.  He was still battling fevers most the day and was pretty sick but knowing we get to go home tomorrow and that we made it through all three rounds is awesome!  He started a treatment on Monday that lasts 96 hours so that will be done around 12:00 tomorrow and he has to get one more interferon shot tomorrow then we get to go home.  We have even started counting down on how many shots he has left till we are completely done.  It feels like he has finished a major milestone and it has been a major accomplishment to get through this treatment.  After we get home he will have 3 more shots of interferon then he has scans scheduled in July and hopefully everything is clear and we can start our summer vacation.  We are so excited to get back to normal living.  Cancer has taken enough from us for now, we are ready to take our life back.  Once again, I find it hard to find the words to express our gratitude for all the help and support we have received since all this started.  This week especially this week.  So many people have stepped in to help us get everyone to so may different places.  When my family offered to help us they probably had no idea what they had signed up for.  This week alone we had basketball camp, basketball tournament, soccer tournament, cub scout day camp and of course they all had their regular practices all week as well.  There is no way we could have done any of this with out all the help we have received.  We have always been taught to serve others.  It hasn't been until we have been on the other side of service that I have learned the meaning of service in a much deeper way.  I am always so thankful for the Lord taking the time to teach us these lessons.

I thought this was cute.  Steve brought this little car and put it in his bathroom to remind him of McKay while he was here.  Nothing says McKay like a little hot wheel.  Something to put a smile on his face.  

Round 3 Day 3

I have to apologize right up front.  This is going to be a longer entry tonight so I won't be offended if this is one you skip.  My heart is overflowing with love and gratitude for all the wonderful experiences I was able to be a part of tonight.  I came home to attend a benefit dinner that some very good friends organized and put on for our family tonight.  I was so overwhelmed and amazed at the amount of people and support that was there tonight.  There were people that didn't even know us but had been touched by melanoma in a loved one so they were there just to support us.  Our neighbors, friends, family, patients, and strangers all came together to support Steve in his fight.  How could you not gain strength from that? There is power in numbers.  I was extremely touched by the love that was given to my family tonight.  I was going to say something tonight, but my emotions are so close to the surface that I wasn't sure I could with out busting into the ugly cry.  So I will tell you all what was on my mind here where I can ugly cry in private.

The very first day in the hospital on round 1, the team of nurses came in and placed a PICC Line for the week.  This is how all of his chemo and treatments would be given and where all the blood draws would come out of.  He was all hooked up and receiving all of his pre meds before they would start this awful treatment.  I remember standing there in his room with a few nurses.  Steve was standing next to what they call his tree of life.  All these bags hung with different drugs and fluid.  All part of his treatment.  Then the nurses were there to answer any questions we might have and kind of give us a run down of things to expect this up and coming week.  Then Steve being Steve, started telling them how all this was going to work.  We were going to do this , and we were going to do that.  He was taking charge of the situation and making sure everyone knew just what to do in this next week.  I just stepped back and watched the nurses look at each other not knowing quite what to say so with a little chuckle, I just said, "You can't tell he is usually the one in charge.  He is usually the one who is giving directions and laying out the plan of treatment."  Oh boy, this was going to be interesting I could tell right off the bat.  The nurses just laughed but were probably a bit nervous about this one.  As the days went on things got more serious.  One night around 3:30in the morning one of the alarms went off.  There were many different alarms always going off. It could mean one of the bags of fluid or medicine was out and needs to be changed, it could mean the battery was running low.  Sometimes I would forget to plug that monster beast back to the wall. An alarm would sound when his oxygen would drop. That's when I would pop out of bed and hurry over to get the oxygen on him.  The first little while, I had it on all wrong.  It still worked it just night have strangled him is all Most these alarms I have learned how to fix them with out calling the nurse.  But this night an alarm went off and it was one I couldn't fix.  Steve's heart had slipped out of a normal rhythm and was causing quite a commotion.  I woke up to a room full of doctors and nurses doing what they have been trained to do.  They were getting Steve back!In that moment of pure fear and panic I did what I have been trained to do.  I dropped to my knees and prayed with all my heart.  With tears streaming down my already wet cheeks I knew right then that not only did Steve have a very well trained medical staff attending to him but he also had an army of angels from the other side that were there helping those nurses and doctors try to save my sweetheart.  I knew then, he was in very good hands.  Although it was an intense few hours that Steve slept right through, the sense of peace came over me and the feeling of fear left. The power of prayer is real. I felt it that night I dropped to my knees in desperate prayer and I have felt it time and time again through all of this.  All the prayers that have been said by all of you in our behalf have lifted us up and helped us make it through a very tough time.  We have witnesses several miracles.  Some I have shared, and some that are so sacred they are ours alone to enjoy.  As much as I hate cancer, I love and will forever be grateful for the lessons it has taught me and my family.  Things we have learned going through this trial, we could have learned any other way.  To me, that shows me 1:How well Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us and 2:That he loves us enough to give us the trials that will benefit us the most and to teach us the things that will bring us closer to God.   3: When we go through these really hard trials he doesn't make us go through them alone.  He sends his earthly angels to help us.  These angels come in a form of a friend, family members, and even sometimes little fairies that come clean my house, fold my laundry and even clean our windows and fix broken tail lights on our car. 

I can't begin to thank all of you tonight for being there for our family.  Thank you seems to be so small compared to the feeling in my heart.  I'm not sure I can find a word that could best describe it.  All I can say is the I hope one day in your life you might have the chance to feel the feelings that are in my heart tonight.  We are not done fighting this battle.  We will fight this cancer with all we have for as long as we have to. But in the end, we will put our complete trust in God and what ever he sees fit we will be grateful for the ride.  God has a plan and it is a perfect plan.  He knows what He is doing and we are just her along for the ride.  I have such love and admiration for you all.  I will be forever grateful to all of you who are sharing in this experience with us.  Steve and I are changed people.  I have to say my most sincere thank you to my dear friend who wouldn't give up on Steve and I and our prideful hearts. Because of her, we have been blessed with more support than we could have ever imagined. Many other blessings came in our life after we let down our pride and accepted the hand that was being extended to us.     Our Spirits have been lifted after tonight. 

It will be impossible to reach out and thank you all individually, so I hope you will read here and feel my most sincere gratitude and my biggest thank you .  I wish there were words that would express better what I am feeling, but I hope you might be able to feel just a little of what is in my heart tonight.  My heart is super full tonight with love and gratitude for so many things.  Love you ALL!!

Round 3 Day 2

Time marches on.  Another day closer to being done with this part of our experience.  When we first started down this road, I wanted to do this blog for a few different reasons.  One of which was to keep track of the many blessings we see.  I started a list in the back of my journal that I named, "Little big acts of kindness."  There have already been so many it has taken up pages in my journal.  I wanted to just name one tonight.  If anyone knows Steve, you know he loves to look out a clean window.  That is one things he does himself every year at home.  Actually, I help.  He goes on the outside and I follow him through out the house on the inside and we clean all the windows.  That way we know who has missed spots so those windows are sparkling when we are done.  Our first round of treatments here at the Huntsman was right after some pretty dirty rain storms.  I thought it was kind of funny because the entire week we were here, Steve asked every person who came in the room if he could get his window cleaned.  It drove him crazy to look out a dirty window.  He didn't care if it was the doctor, nurse, aid or custodian that came to his room, he asked them to go clean his window.  This past week when we were home I was out side doing some work and a guy came walking up to me and said, "You are going to get your windows cleaned today."  I was just about to explain to him that he had the wrong house, that I hadn't been home to set that up when he explained that some one had already paid for all our windows to be cleaned.  As tears filled my eyes, I couldn't help but thank my Heavenly Father for the "Little Big acts of kindness" that continue to bless our lives.  I'm sure that who ever arrange for our windows to be cleaned had no idea what a big deal that was for Steve.  I loved it too, but when I opened the windows and showed Steve how clear his view was from his own bed, he was so happy!

Today was another crazy day.  Most the day today was spent trying to break a fever.  After giving him the max amounts of meds. they turned on a cooling blanket and packed his body in ice packs.  They put them behind his neck and under his arms.  Eventually it worked and his temperature came down.  The other challenge we had today was trying to stabilize his blood pressure.  With the IL-2 they are giving him, his fluid leaks into his tissues and that causes his pressure to drop.  If it's not one thing it's another.  We are just very grateful to have such capable people that are taking care of Steve. They are very well trained and so compassionate.  Hoping for a quiet night,  So far, all I hear are alarms going off non stop not so quiet.

Round 3 Day 1

These past 2 weeks  at home were a bit harder than the first round.  When we first got home, Steve couldn't eat or drink anything at all.  He got so dehydrated that he needed IV fluids but he really didn't want them.  He had just gotten home and he was just so tired of having everyone hovering over him and he didn't want to be hooked up to another line again.  One of our friends came over and hooked him up to start some fluids... It was only an hour or so before he stared to complain and wanted to be done.  Our friend who is a paramedic said we could give him the fluids faster so he could just get them in and he could be done.  Normally, that would have been just fine, but with Steve, his veins, and capillaries were so weak that flooding him with fluids to fast didn't quite work so well.  He went to lay down and and he started to complain of a pain in his chest.  He said it felt like a heavy weight was on his chest.  I called my friend who is a nurse and she came right over.  She listened to his lungs and said she could hear the fluid on his lungs.  She took the IV out and had him walk up to the corner of our street and back.  Kind of scary.  Steve is a terrible patient.  He hates all this attention and he hates to be confined and "hovered" over.  So this is so hard for him.  It's just something he has to get through.  The other complicating issue we had this last go round is our two youngest kids caught something right before we got home.  Sierra spiked a high fever the first night we got back.  The bad thing was, I didn't know that she was sick until after she had cuddled with her dad all day.  She loves her dad and misses him when he's gone, so it is not unlike her to go snuggle up to him and lay by him while he sleeps.  It made me very nervous since Steve was at such a high risk of catching anything and that could be very dangerous for him.  His body is unable to fight any little bug right now.  Then the next night, McKay spiked a high fever in the middle of the night.  Not to sure what they caught.  It seemed to pass quickly, just gave me a bit more to worry about and take care of when we got home.  I believe it was a tender mercy that Steve was protected from catching whatever they both had.  The nausea this time around was even worse.  I would give him his pills to control the nausea and he would keep them down for about one minute before he was running to the bathroom to throw them up.  In the end, we made it through to round 3.  Last Tuesday we had labs drawn and his levels were still really low.  The doctor wasn't sure that we would even make it to round three.  This morning when we came, the one level they were looking at had to be a very minimum of 1000 his was 1100.  Not great but they were okay to start.  Today has been a bit rough.  He got slammed with nausea and fevers right away.   Then his blood pressure dropped and all the meds they have given him in the past don't seem to be working as well this time.  It probably has to do with his weaken state to start with.  This is the time I pray!  I pray all the time, but right now it's a different kind of prayer.  Steve talks about the difference between prayer and pleading with the Lord.  This is one of those times I am pleading.  We will get through this.  When we talked to the doctor he said again that we were doing the best thing for Steve right now.  After this he said most likely we will be having social visits for about the next year and a half.  WHAT!  Is that all?  Hopefully longer than that, but I guess that is what happens in most cases.  He is hopeful that in that year and a half, there will be even more ways to treat this awful monster.  We hope for the best but plan for the worst.

Look at those cute heads

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Round 2 Day 4

One more day and we get to go home, YEA!  It was a tough day today.  Each round, each day gets a little harder on his body and his spirits.  Today his doctor came in and talked a little about the annual conference that he just back from.  Doctors from all around the world come to this particular conference.   He said that melanoma stole the show.  When he talks about the new and up coming treatments of melanoma, it's always about stage 4.  I really don't like talking about stage 4.  I am hopeful that we wont have to deal with that, but being only a breath away I do like to know what tricks to store in our back pocket.  When talking about stage 4 he always refers to it as rescue strategies.   For some reason, I hate hearing it referred to it like that.  To me, rescue sounds like someone drowning that needs to be rescued.  I would prefer to just stay out of the water all together so we won't need to be rescued at all.   Could we talk about that? How do we stay out of the water?No one seems to have answers on how to do that?  The only thing I can think of, is doing all we can to eat better really focus on good nutrition at home.  If this isn't motivation to make some changes, I don't know what is?  I did buy a juicer and have been reading and studying more about the benefits of juicing.  That is one thing I will start making a part of our daily meals.  I'm sure it will take some time to make all the changes I'd like to make but I will start with small things and introduce more as we go along.  Oh boy, are my kids going to love me.  We love our dad so hopefully they will just roll with it???  I feel like we have got to do all we can to stay out of the water.  In the end, I know that God has a plan and it is a perfect plan.  I just have to do all I can to do my part so I will never have any regrets or I won't ever look back and say, "I wish I would have tried....."

This is where we go when we make it outside..It's beautiful.

  I even do laundry here.  Never get away from that.

Day 3

I guess I didn't do my job last night.  These ear plugs work good or I was just really tired.  Steve tried to get me to come cover his little toes that were poking out 3 times but I didn't hear his calls for help in the middle of the night.  Boy did I hear about it in the morning!  I'm here to help out and I'm not doing my job ha ha.  Hopefully tonight I can tuck those toes in before I fall asleep so I don't hear about it tomorrow.  Things went good today.  One of the really weird things that has happened to Steve is the chemical they give him stimulate a part of his brain that activates the memory cells in his body.  Those memory cells remembers a time in his life when he was sunburned.  So his body is all sun burned.  It's so crazy to me that the body can work that way, but it does. Today was the first day we noticed that he started losing his hair.  He had a ton on his pillow this morning and more that came out in the shower.  It might be time for the summer time buzz.  The two older boys said they would shave their heads to match their dads, but McKay said he needed to think about it.  I love that kid.  Either way, it looks like the Garvert boys might be sportin a new do soon.  I had a fun day today visiting with a dear friend.  I love getting visitors.  Steve sleeps a lot so I read a lot and go for some walks but it was really fun to be with her and spend time catching up.  When else do we ever just sit and talk for hours with a good friend.  I say, we defiantly need to do more of that.  That is time well spent.  I know I am guilty of wasting time doing things far less important and much less rewarding.

     Steve decided to take my bed

Round 2 Day 2

Pretty good day today, we got to move out of ICU and into a regular room.  Although you feel very safe and cared for in the ICU, there isn't much rest.  Steve is much happier with out all the extra cords and extra "bugging".  He did pretty good today with all the treatments and they were able to really stay on top of his symptoms.  We were able to go outside and sit in the sun for a little bit today.  It felt so good! Our view from this new room is the top of the U of U hospital so I get to watch all the life flight helicopters come and go.  Although it's not as pretty as the mountain side, it is a bit more exciting.  I was even able to sneak away for a little bit tonight and meet a friend who has a little one down the street at Primary Children's.  It was great to get out for a bit even if it was just to a different hospital.  I thought I could be gone with out Steve even noticing, but that was not the case.  I wasn't gone long before I started getting texts asking me when I'd be back and that he missed me.  Ha ha, I guess I'm not to sneaky.  I guess he does know I'm here, sometimes I wonder??? I know I say this a lot, but We are so very grateful for all the prayers we are getting in our behalf.  We are truly lifted up and feel the strength that comes from those prayer.  The power of prayer is real, I can testify to that!!!

The view from our room day 2

                                 

                                        The PIC line was placed a lot easier and quicker this time around

This is what the PIC line looks like on x-ray

Round 2

Wow! One week in the hospital and two weeks home felt like two weeks in the hospital and one week home.  The two weeks home went fast but it was sure nice to be home doing some normal things with our family.  Steve had a birthday yesterday and he slept for most of the day.  We celebrated the day before by going up Logan Canyon with some friends and had a camp fire and did some 4 wheeling.  I think we wore him clean out!  It was a lot of fun and a great way to enjoy one last day before we headed back down for round two.  We got up at 5:30 this morning in hopes to get here early.  They ask us to be here by 8:00 so we figure that the sooner we get here the sooner we get to go home on Friday.  When we came this morning we headed straight to the 4th floor where we spent our last week here.  Of course, I wanted to make only one trip from the car with all our stuff so our arms were full, I mean full!  Steve was cussing me, telling me that we should have taken two trips, but I wouldn't be a true Mathison if I didn't try to make only one.  I just can't help myself.  When we barely made it to the 4th floor without dropping everything, they told us that we wouldn't be on that floor this time.  We had to head up to the 5th floor.  So we stumbled towards the elevators again to make our way up one more floor.  I probably took out 4 people as I walked by because I was carrying so much stuff.  We made it and realized we had ended up in the ICU.  They explained that after our experience last time with his heart rate that went crazy and his blood pressure that tanked, they wanted him in the ICU so they could keep a closer eye on him.  Boy, he was not happy!  That means more cords, more monitors, and lots more "bugging".  He is just not a happy patient right now.  As soon as they got the PIC line placed and the drugs flowing, he started to calm down, mostly because he gets knocked out with all the drugs.   Knowing what is coming is good and bad, I think.  Good because we know what to expect and what worked best last time treating it. Bad because we know whats coming and how awful he is going to feel.  We are just trying to keep focused on the bigger picture of things and see this as a blessing that we have these resources available to us.  I am truly grateful for the village that is there to take care of my family while we are away.  My sisters have it all figured out and taken care of for me.  I have neighbors and friends running my very active kids to and from practices and activities.  I don't know how we could do it all with out all the love and support we continue to receive from countless people.  I have to say, I am super proud of my kids as well.  They take such good care of each other and are being such good sports through this all.  Here's to one day down, and 4 to go.

                                                                   Happy Birthday                                                                    

                                            Jacob did Sierra's hair today.  He did a great job!

                                                       Our View from our room in ICU